Cause I'd rather just be alone If I know that I can't have you
by bubblegumbrunette
Summary: "All done Bo," Lauren said "you're blood pressure is a little high but-" and that's all Bo heard before she turned her attention back to Dyson and Kenzi laughing it up like the good pals that they are. It was making her blood boil; she's never been this way before. She wasn't the type to be jealous and possessive.
' _maybe you were just afraid k_ _nowing you were miles away from the place where you needed to be and that's right here with me_ '

Kenzi being back proved to be quite problematic for Bo, she's obviously happy she has her best friend back in the living _and_ back from wherever she needed to go to be 'normal' but nonetheless it was still proving to be quite problematic. There had been a time where dark hair, pale skin, junk food and eccentric clothing choices was something Bo considered to be uniquely Kenzi that she couldn't picture her best friend being any other way. Until Kenzi stepped out the limo _looking_ like Kenzi but not entirely the Kenzi that Bo knew.

Her friend looked good in the well-rested sense _and_ in the physical sense.

The blonde hair, slightly less dramatic make up, the different clothes and the sun kissed looking skin made Bo's brain feel like it had stopped working and her heart beat would either feel like it was stuttering in her chest or Kenzi had turned it up a couple of notches making Bo feel caught off guard every time it happened.

Walking into the kitchen an oddly satisfying aroma caught her attention "What is _that_ I smell?" she asked idly going to the fridge to grab some bottled juice before stopping dead and turning to the scene she'd just passed "and what is this I am witnessing?" she added.

Kenzi looked up at her with one of those smiles that lit up her whole face "I picked up a few things on my travels," she commented "turns out I make a to _die_ for mushroom omelette." She added as she carefully placed said omelette on a plate with a satisfied look.

Bo watched as Kenzi took a bite of the omelette and made an appreciative sound which sounded a lot like a moan and Bo didn't need the images her mind was conjuring up in which her best friend would moan like that "No kidding," Bo said "I didn't think you even knew mushrooms existed."

The coolness the fridge provided momentarily was very welcome to Bo who felt the temperature rising in a way she shouldn't be feeling about Kenzi because a) she was straight, b) she was her best friend and c) it had the potential to become complicated and messy if feelings started evolving.

"I met this attractive scientist who was impressed by my cooking skills and some other skills," Kenzi said lightly with a suggestive look thrown her way.

Bo raised her eyebrows in surprise "Well considering how your diet lacked vegetables previously I'm sure he's not as impressed as I am in this food swap you seem to have done," she said.

"I'm fairly certain _she_ wouldn't have cared," Kenzi said catching Bo off guard once more and leaving her choking on a mouthful of juice as her best friend left the kitchen with an amused look cast her way.

Bo clutched at her chest as her coughing fit almost died down " _She_ ," Bo repeated in disbelief. Kenzi hadn't given much away so it was possible she was having Bo on… "What other skills?" she called out to which she got no response. Bo pushed herself away from the kitchen counter "Kenzi, what other skills!?" she asked.

* * *

After _that_ revelation somehow Bo's imagination suddenly kicked into overdrive in her dreams where Kenzi is featured often. It's like all the repressed feelings from before were spilling out and building to a point where Bo is sure she's going to _explode_ from the sheer magnitude of her feelings. Suddenly _everyone_ is a threat. Hell, Bo even snapped at Dyson for looking at Kenzi the other day and it wasn't until she was lying in bed later that same evening that it had hit her. Bo had been _jealous_ of the way Dyson had been looking at Kenzi which was laughably ridiculous.

The Dal isn't overly busy but it's buzzing enough for Bo to try and act like she isn't feeling particularly bothered by Kenzi flirting up a storm with a _woman_ , yeah, _a woman_ right in front of Bo! "Big glass of the strongest drink you have in here," she said idly as she kept her gaze trained on her best friend.

"Is drowning your sorrows the right way to go about this?" Trick asked.

Bo frowned "I'm not drowning my sorrows," she said "I'm celebrating Kenzi being back and Kenzi being… _so_ Kenzi." She corrected in a slur of words, how many drinks had she had already?

A glass was placed on the bar "If somethings bothering you I suggest you talk about it with her," he said.

Bo turned her head to look at him with a raised eyebrow (at least she hoped she was raising her eyebrow and not just squinting at him) "Nothing's bothering me, I'm fine! So fine, I'll show you how fine I am by paying for their next round of drinks see _I'm_ f.i.n.n.e. fine." She said waving a hand at him.

Trick didn't look convinced, she knew that spelling of 'fine' didn't sound right "Your show of being fine will have to wait," he said "I think I just saw them leave together."

Bo's mood somehow dampened considerably more "And," she said roughly with a shrug of her shoulders "totally fine." She pointed out.

Trick looked at her with something close to sympathy before he moved on to serving his next customer, Bo wanted to drown in a bottle of something strong while simultaneously bashing the woman's head in with said bottle. Ok _ay_ that was a violent image. She downed the last of her drink before getting off the bar stool and feeling a little wobbly. Once she was certain she wasn't going to fall flat on her face as soon as she left the bar, Bo left The Dal and walked out into the warm night air.

She heard giggling before she saw _them_ and any illusion she had of being fine was shattered because she wanted to _cry_ and she shouldn't be feeling like this. She wanted to fucking cry and she needed to actually breathe.

* * *

Kenzi's kept her distance which isn't entirely easy when you live under the same roof but Bo would say her best friend has done an exceptional job of spending as little time as possible with her, it stung which added to the hurt that had been curling in her stomach from the other night. She couldn't have feelings for Kenzi. It just… it couldn't be happening, sure she's always loved her but that was different at least back then she knew she didn't have a chance with her but _now_ there was a very real possibility of being rejected or friend zoned by Kenzi.

"Hey," Bo said cautiously as she sat on the arm of the couch, Kenzi was currently laying on it, her long sun kissed legs preventing Bo from sitting down on the actual couch "I'm sorry if I've come across as a bit bitchy these last few days." She said.

Kenzi moved her gaze from the television on the wall to Bo "What the hell crawled up your ass?" she asked.

Bo tapped her foot nervously for a couple of seconds as she held Kenzi's gaze "It's ridiculous," she said "I just feel like I don't really know much about what's going on in your life anymore. The other night when I left The Dal and I saw you kissing that woman, it just… you telling me you've been with a woman and actually seeing it with my own eyes… they're two different things."

Kenzi sat up with a look Bo couldn't quite decipher "Let me get this right," she said "what has your panties in a twist is that I kissed a girl?" she asked sounding very close to being pissed.

"No," Bo answered immediately "that's… it's… look when _I_ kissed you to feed you were disgusted but you're fine with kissing other women?" it had been weighing heavily on her for days.

Kenzi looked at Bo softly "That was then," she said "now I'm exploring different options."

"So in a hypothetical sense if I needed to feed right now, you wouldn't be disgusted at me asking?" Bo asked carefully.

Kenzi smiled brightly at her "Anything to help a sister out," she said.

* * *

 _Anything to help a sister out_.

"Kenz," Bo sighed softly as she looked down at her "you don't know how long I've been waiting for this."

Kenzi smiled up at her softly, her blonde hair splayed out on the pillow beneath her "I can probably take a guess," she murmured as she lifted her head up slightly "but are we really going to talk about that right now?" she asked.

Bo dipped her head with a grin on her face as she captured Kenzi's lips with her own.

She opened her eyes, a smile on her face and rolled over to find her bed empty. Temporary confusion set in before it dawned on her how it'd all been just another dream. And then the disappointment settled deep within her as she threw an arm over her eyes.

"I seriously keep outdoing myself if I must say so myself," Kenzi said as Bo heard her footsteps enter her room before there was a dip in the mattress "here Bobo try this."

"What is it?" Bo asked.

She didn't need to look at Kenzi to know she was rolling her eyes "Just open your mouth," Kenzi said "I promise you won't regret it."

Bo opened her mouth and felt Kenzi place the fork near her mouth, she leaned her head upwards to slowly take the food from the fork and if it was anything how she was picturing it in her mind then it was quickly becoming a platform for one of Bo's dreams to turn into a 'thing'. "Mm," she said "this is good."

She felt Kenzi push her arm away from her face "Hey Bo," she said softly, her hand lingering on Bo's "if you want to know something then all you have to do is just ask." She added, her fingers entwining with Bo's gently for a brief moment.

Bo smiled up at her best friend, the way the morning light hit her made her look even more beautiful than Bo could have thought possible and for the first time in a long time she felt a bit self-conscious about having just woken up and possibly looking a mess "Okay Kenz," she said.

Kenzi lightly squeezed her hand before letting go and leaving Bo's bedroom.

Bo smiled to herself in spite of everything, she really didn't know what she'd do if she didn't have Kenzi in her life.

* * *

Things however take an interesting turn on a night out a couple of nights later. Bo's in a happy tipsy state and Kenzi's probably one drink away from crossing into total drunkenness when Bo feels Kenzi lay an arm over her shoulders and lean her head against hers. "I love you Kenz," Bo sighed softly as they waited for a taxi halfway down the street away from the club they had been in.

"I love you too Bobo," Kenzi said "I even love you when you act like a bitch for days on end or when you bring home Ms. Know-It-All or when you-"

"-No I _love_ you," Bo said with some conviction hoping Kenzi would understand. She didn't know why tonight of all nights seemed like the perfect time to let her feelings out or why being almost drunk meant it was time to confess all.

"And I love you too Bobo, how much did you drink?" Kenzi asked laughing softly.

Bo turned to face Kenzi "No Kenzi," she said wanting to stamp her foot like a petulant child because Kenzi wasn't catching on "I. Love. You. Like I am _in_ love with _you_." This is probably the most unromantic way Bo has ever confessed her love for someone.

Kenzi took a step back "Bobo," she breathed.

"I didn't want to just put it out there," Bo hurried to explain "it slipped out but it's killing me Kenz, it's _killing_ me. How can I not love you, you're my fucking heart Kenzi. You know that, _you know it_. I love you."

Kenzi's mouth has fallen open slightly. "Bo-" she said.

Bo took the initiative to step forward and kiss Kenzi, she brought her hands up to either side of her best friends face as their lips moved in sync with each other, Kenzi's hands coming up to cup the back of her neck. Kenzi's lips were soft and tasted of cocoa butter lip balm, it was the best taste in the world at the moment as far as Bo was concerned.

They parted when air had become a necessity and Kenzi looked slightly taken aback. There was a small part of Bo that started to doubt whether kissing Kenzi had been the brightest of ideas because her best friend was looking at her like they had only just met for the first time. "Kenz?" Bo asked, her voice coming out just above a whisper. She was second guessing herself.

Kenzi's gaze seemed to focus on her "Taxi's here," she said instead and when Bo turned her head she watched as the taxi pulled up to the curb to pick them up.

* * *

So it appeared Bo had a few things she had to work out herself as she laid in bed the morning after. In all honesty she was just afraid of getting out of bed and facing Kenzi, what if Kenzi decided to leave because of last night or worse, what if she never wanted to talk to Bo again? She'd lost Kenzi before and her life had been worse off because of it.

"Bobo," Kenzi singsonged "I have _coffee_." She added as she walked into the bedroom in her pyjamas still looking as beautiful as ever after last night with two cups of steaming coffee in hand. Bo hadn't even drank that much last night and she felt like she was about to hurl all over her bedroom floor.

"Thanks," she managed to get out as she concentrated on doing the _exact_ opposite of decorating her floor as she accepted the cup from Kenzi.

"Lauren called," Kenzi said with a look of distaste on her face (jealousy perhaps?), Bo mentally shook her head at the thought "said you need to go in for a check-up, is that the code for you know?" she asked with a suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows.

Bo scrunched up her face "Ugh no," she said and it took her back a bit at using the words 'ugh no' in relation to Lauren, there had been a time when Bo had genuinely believed she was in love with Lauren "it's purely a medical check-up, want to join?" she asked.

Kenzi tilted her head looking as if she was considering it "Why not," she said shrugging "who knows, Dyson might be there to make the whole thing a bit less boring."

"Maybe," Bo snapped out grumpily.

Kenzi stood up from the bed with a smile "I'll go get ready then," she said, she turned when she got to the door frame with an odd look on her face "last night was because you needed to feed right?" she asked.

Bo almost choked on her mouthful of coffee, it burned her throat on the way down causing her to grimace and wheeze out "Feed," and Kenzi nodded her head "uh yeah." The words left her mouth without a second thought.

Kenzi nodded her head before slipping out of the room. Bo watched her go before she looked up at the ceiling and muttered "Fuck,"

* * *

They're close, too close for Bo's liking actually. Dyson has that soft look in his eye again and Kenzi is looking at him like he's the most interesting thing in the room. They're talking animatedly and _laughing_ , what could they be finding so funny?

"All done Bo," Lauren said "you're blood pressure is a little high but-" and that's all Bo heard before she turned her attention back to Dyson and Kenzi laughing it up like the good pals that they are. It was making her blood boil; she's never been this way before. She wasn't the _type_ to be jealous and possessive, she'd always had this fierce need to want to protect Kenzi but why would she need protecting from Dyson? ( _he wants her_ ), Bo rolled her shoulders as the vicious thought made its way through her mind ( _she probably wants him too_ ).

"Bo," Lauren said as she stepped into Bo's direct vision of Dyson and Kenzi "are you listening to me?" she asked with a concerned look on her face.

Bo looked at Lauren and nodded "Yeah," she said as she stood up from the bed "blood pressure is a little high, it's probably just stress."

"What could be stressing you out?" Lauren asked.

Bo had an endless list of stuff in her life that could be stressing her out but right now from over Lauren's shoulder Bo could see Kenzi laying a hand on Dyson's arm as she said something. Lauren followed her gaze for a brief moment and a look of understanding crossed her face. "I see," she said "have you brought this up with Dyson yet?"

"What?" Bo asked confused.

"Your feelings," Lauren prompted.

"Feelings," Bo repeated "for _Dyson_?" it was true that she had a history with him and Lauren that proved to be quite… messy and complicated.

Lauren crossed her arms over her chest "If not Dyson then… Kenzi," she said slowly.

Bo sighed as she hung her head "Is it obvious?" she asked softly "Trick seemed to think so but I'm not too sure, she doesn't seem to notice me."

Lauren looked at her sympathetically "How could she not notice you?" she asked as the two of them leaned back against the bed "she's the centre of your world and you're the centre of hers. I see what's been stressing you out now."

"This is hell," Bo snapped "I've never felt anything like this, I'm jealous of _everyone_. I've never been this jealous before, I kind of feel like ripping Dyson's head off right about now and _I know_ he only thinks of Kenzi as a sister." She was glad there was a pane of glass between her and Lauren and Kenzi and Dyson. It felt good to unload on someone. Even if it happened to be her ex which should be awkward…

Lauren shrugged her shoulders "My professional advice would be to talk to Kenzi; you never know you might be surprised." She said.

"I told her I loved her last night," she admitted lightly "then we kissed and then this morning… _nothing_. She asked me if last night was me needing to feed and I stupidly said _yes_ but to be fair I was choking on my coffee at the same time so my priorities were focused on not dying."

Lauren laughed softly "Why not try something normal," she said "maybe ask her out on a date and see where that goes."

* * *

Bo puts the thought of a date away for a while because a new case takes up their time and suddenly it feels like the old times, just like how it used to be which is nice until you add feelings into the mix. And then her stress levels often skyrocket because she wants Kenzi to be safe.

Bo finds Kenzi's transformation to be quite astounding; it used to be all dark clothes and dark make-up which suited her just fine. It was something Bo thought was uniquely Kenzi's style that it would be weird if Kenzi were to change in any way except she has changed she's all long wavy blonde locks, neutral make-up and _light_ airy clothes now. Bo supposed people evolved throughout their lives but it just never occurred to her that Kenzi would evolve too… what if one day she didn't need Bo?

Bo doesn't feel like she's evolved, she still feels like the same woman she was when she first saved Kenzi from the man that drugged her.

She walked into their place with an arm full of groceries per Kenzi's orders and stopped short when she saw Kenzi in a sports bra and shorts in their living room with the couch pulled back and the coffee table pushed to the side as she undertook a dance video tutorial.

"This is… new," she commented appreciatively.

"Hey Bobo," Kenzi breathed out "can you grab my phone for me? It's on the kitchen side."

Bo proceeded through to the kitchen and placed the bag of groceries on the side before locating Kenzi's phone. She picked it up just as it buzzed to life with a new text message; if there weren't any other texts present then Bo would've called Kenzi a physic or something. Bo tells herself that she only saw the messages out of surprise of the phone buzzing to life in her hands.

 **Cos** – _I found this on my phone, look at how cute you are._  
There's a picture of Kenzi looking interested in something, looking pretty cute in her oversized cardigan and a big hat on.

"Someone called Cos text you," Bo said "a number of times actually."

Kenzi's answering grin made Bo's stomach do somersaults or whatever "She's the pretty scientist I told you about," she said.

"Oh," was all Bo said in response.

* * *

It's ridiculous, it really is.

Bo's standing in front of her mirror "I love you," she said before shaking her head and starting over again "Kenzi, I am _in_ love with you. Some part of me thinks I always _have_ been but I never thought I had a chance and now… there's this slither of possibility with you and I'm-" and Bo sighed "I'm, I'm being stupid."

She can hear the radio from her bedroom; it's on as background noise to distract her from the stupidity of this.

"Why are you in love with her?" she asked herself, her reflection looking somewhat unhappy.

It wasn't difficult to answer.

"I love her because she's fiercely loyal, she fights to protect those she loves with every ounce of her being, no matter how much she tries to deny it she loves to help others, when she loves she does it with all of her heart and my heart broke when she asked me to unclaim her." Bo said the words flowing from her.

She jumped when she heard the front door bang close.

"Kenz!?" she called out.

"I'm home Bo," Kenzi called back.

* * *

"I thought you had a date tonight?" Bo asked in surprise when Kenzi walked back into their place with a takeaway pizza box and a bottle of wine in her hands. She looked stunning.

Kenzi sat on the couch and smiled at her "I was on my way to the bar when I felt bad about leaving you here all by yourself, I mean we've not exactly had a pizza and wine movie night in a pretty long time right?" she said.

Bo shook her head as she felt her lips turn upwards into a smile "No we haven't," she said "that doesn't mean I want you to stand your date up." (It actually does though).

Kenzi waved her hand dismissively "I'm sure he'll find a way to move on," she said as she knocked Bo's leg with her own.

"What do you want to watch?" Bo asked.

"Whatever you want," Kenzi said.

Bo didn't care what they watched either so she stuck a random disk in the DVD player and sat back on the couch doing her best to keep her mind from running wild conspiracy theories about why Kenzi would just ditch her date in favour of pizza and wine with her. She accepted a slice of pizza from Kenzi and settled back for a night in with her best friend.

They hadn't bothered with glasses for the wine; they just drank from the bottle. It wasn't like they hadn't shared saliva before.

When the pizza was done with and the wine was stood forgotten on the coffee table and the film was drawing to a close, she felt Kenzi shift closer, entwine their fingers and lay her head on Bo's shoulder. Bo's heart swelled in her chest and suddenly she didn't want the film to end.

* * *

In the darkness of her bedroom it felt like something had changed between them, she wasn't sure _how_ or _why_ she felt like it had. All Kenzi had asked was if she could stay in with Bo so it was like a 'proper sleepover'. The cuddling on the sofa had been a nice surprise and their hands staying joined while they lay beside one another in bed was another welcomed surprise.

Bo almost didn't want to break the serene silence that had settled upon the bedroom.

"Kenz," Bo murmured "thanks for tonight, I didn't realise how much I missed our girl nights in."

She felt Kenzi shift slightly beside her "Best date I've had in a while," she said sound half asleep.

"Date," Bo repeated.

Kenzi shifted closer ever so slightly enough for Bo to smell her vanilla perfume "Hm that's what dinner, wine and a movie is right," she said before yawning softly and her breath hitting Bo's exposed skin on her neck.

* * *

Bo is pretty sure Kenzi is doing this on purpose now which is sort of pissing her off, firstly she remembers Bo kissing her but coincidentally forgets Bo's confession and then secondly she acts like nothing has happened after stating they had a date the other night and Bo had been completely unaware. It's frustrating.

The frustration sort of grows with every single day Kenzi smiles at her, every single day Kenzi carries on like there is nothing going on between them and it makes Bo feel like she's slowly being driven crazy.

"Hey Bobo," Kenzi says idly as she watches over some food boiling on the cooking hob while texting at the same time. It shouldn't be an adorable scene.

"Hey Kenz," Bo replies flatly.

Kenzi looks up from her phone "What's wrong?" she asked sounding concerned.

Bo looked at her for a moment "So you do actually notice something _is_ wrong then?" she asked the challenge evident in her voice.

Kenzi frowned at her "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked sounding sort of hurt.

"It _means_ you do actually pay attention then," Bo said "because the last couple of days you seem to be happily going around acting like nothing has happened."

Kenzi placed her phone down the kitchen side "Nothing _has_ actually happened Bo," she pointed out.

"But it has," Bo shot back in frustration "and you're… you're _acting_ like everything is okay when it's not, how can it be?"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Kenzi asked.

"You!" Bo shouted.

Kenzi flinched slightly immediately making Bo feel guilty about raising her voice. "I've done nothing to you so I don't get what this is about," Kenzi said.

Bo crossed her arms over her chest "If you don't get it by now then I just… I don't know, I don't." she said feeling like she wanted to cry.

"I know you've been off these last few days and I've been giving you space," Kenzi said softly "I didn't want to irritate you anymore than you already seemed. I didn't know if you needed to feed or what, you've been so closed off with me lately I feel like you're pushing me out."

Bo scoffed "I have not,"

Kenzi raised her eyebrow "Bo you literally acted as if I'd burned you the other day when I touched your arm," she said "or when I walk into a room you walk straight back out of it," she added "you've hardly been giving me a chance to talk to you."

Bo sighed "I didn't mean for it to come across that way,"

"We seem to be completely out of sync since I came back," Kenzi said sadly "if you want me to leave then just tell me okay?"

Bo looked up at Kenzi in shock "I don't want you to leave," she said "why would I want that?"

Kenzi shrugged "I don't know," she said "you've been acting really weird lately."

* * *

The air has been cleared between them sort of, Bo's still aware she's only making herself feel this way because she hasn't opened up to Kenzi yet, how can she blame Kenzi for something that Bo's been keeping in out of fear of rejection?

"When was the last time you fed?" Dyson asked as he came to join Bo at the bar.

Bo tilted her head as she thought back "A couple days or so ago I think," she said "I can't really remember, too much to drink that night."

"I know," Dyson said with an amused smile "I had you drunk dial me telling me how you really liked my hair and then later that night I had Kenzi drunk dial me telling me how coffee flavoured ice cream is one of the best ideas to ever be created." He added.

Bo looked at him for a moment "I said I really liked your hair?" she asked not too sure what to make of that.

Dyson grinned "Apparently the curls remind you of a baby," he said teasingly "and then interestingly it got strangely violent, you said you'd cut off all my cute baby curls if I didn't stop looking at Kenz in a way that made you feel like your head was going to explode. Care to explain that part?" he asked chuckling.

Bo grimaced "I'm sorry," she apologised "did I really say that?" she asked horrified.

Dyson nodded his head "Yeah you really did," he said.

Bo covered her face in her hands "Oh shit I have it bad," she murmured into her hands.

"Are you only just realising that now?" Dyson asked sounding even more amused.

Bo glanced at him through her fingers "You _knew_?" she asked.

"Of course I knew," Dyson said "I think everyone knows except you two."

Bo threw her hands up in the air "So why doesn't Kenzi notice me in that way?" she asked him "I don't get it."

Dyson smiled at her "Have you explicitly told her how you feel?" he asked.

"Yes," she said "… we may have had a couple drinks that night though."

Dyson gave her a look "Kenz could've easily written that off as you having drank one too many, you know how lovey dovey you get after a few." He pointed out.

* * *

Bo walked into their place determined to get everything off of her chest, she expected Kenzi to be in the kitchen so she stormed in there ready to let it all out for herself to be deflated at the sight of an empty kitchen. "Hey Bobo everything okay?" Kenzi called from the couch.

She had to pace the kitchen a couple of times to psyche herself up before she stormed in front of the television with the same amount of conviction as she previously had "No Kenzi," she said "everything isn't okay."

Kenzi looked at her concerned "What is it?" she asked sitting up straighter looking like she was bracing herself for some bad news.

"It's you," Bo said "you're driving me _insane_. I'm in love with you and everyone else sees it but you, these feelings they're new to me I've never felt so… so strongly about anyone like this. I've been wanting to tell you for so long-" she let out.

Kenzi stood up from the couch "So why haven't you?" she asked.

Bo fiddled with the hem of her sleeve "Because before you made it very clear you were only into men," she said "how could I have ruined our friendship over something that I could bury deep down to keep us both happy? Then you sacrificed yourself and my heart _broke_ and I fought so hard to get you back for you to _leave_ and I didn't know what to do with myself. But then you came back… you came back and you were new and different and you were suddenly into men and women and I thought that was it, how could I keep burying these feelings when every time you kiss someone you break my heart all over again?" she let out.

Kenzi looked lost "A part of me knew there was something between us that hadn't been said," she said "but Hale happened," and her voice broke on the name and she had to avert her gaze for a moment "Bo I owed it to myself to have a normal life even for a little bit and I found new things that I liked but ultimately I hated being away from you, I missed you every single day and I never intended to come back and break your heart."

"I know you didn't," Bo said quickly "it's my fault, I should've said something. I was scared that if I said something then you'd reject me. It's been hell for me, I've not been myself and I've been so _aware_ of you that it hadn't occurred to me that I just needed to tell you."

Kenzi smiled softly at her "Bo we went out drinking and you kissed me," she said "I didn't know what to make of it; I didn't want to read too much into it. The rest of the night is a little fuzzy but I came home to hear you talking to yourself in your room, I didn't catch all of it just some of it at the end so I cancelled my date with that guy. And then you started acting like a moody bitch."

Bo laughed softly "I have been so blind,"

"Yes you have," Kenzi agreed "I know I've not exactly helped matters but I wanted you to make the first move but instead you started yelling at me, so talk about mixed signals."

Bo didn't want to talk any more, she wasn't exactly tired of it but it wasn't actually necessary from this point onwards.

She moved forward and kissed Kenzi, tasting the cocoa butter lip balm once more. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed it. She'd replayed the kiss in her mind many times but it really didn't live up to the real thing. She felt herself being manoeuvred to the couch. Bo willingly allowed herself to be moved back onto the cushions. "Kenz," she breathed as she felt Kenzi's hands move from her sides to holding her wrists down by her head on the couch cushions.

Kenzi smiled down at her before dipping down to connect their lips together once more.

* * *

"I love you," Bo murmured before kissing Kenzi's ear.

Kenzi shifted slightly beside her "I love you too," she replied with a smile as she lifted her head up so she was looking at Bo "I know what your nature entails and trust me I am one hundred percent fine with you going off to feed on others." She added.

Bo smiled "Thanks," she said "but right now I really don't want to think about being with anyone else."

Kenzi poked her in the ribs "Yeah you'd better not be," she said.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys, so if any of you have been reading my coldflash or my faberry one i apologise for the long period of waiting, i promise all will be explained in my next updates which i am currently working on!**


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